Hiya, guys…Okay, forever’s an impossibility. It’s been a little over two months. Drama has been dying down, amazingly enough with the Christmas holidays and all. I’m hesitant enough to write, but I actually think that I’ll be able to get stuff done by the middle of February. I’ll still need some time to edit, buy a new cover and format for e-book publication. So, it should be uploaded and available for publication early March.
There was a lovely new review of the book. By lovely, I mean high marks. I’d loved a little detail about what was so good…but hey, a review’s a review. I’m really honored this person thought to review. Amazon is stringent about reviewers being friends or family of the author. Since this isn’t a friend…at least not one who told me they’d review…I’m glad Amazon allows it to stay. I have no idea how they find out. Maybe they have the NSA on their side? LOL
Anyway, look for that new book soon and wish me luck. God speed, everyone!
I know this is a writer’s blog…but I just caught my mother asleep on the couch and my mind flashed back to the scene from Buffy the Vampire Slayer where she finds her mother dead on the couch. The reasons aren’t important for this post, but that scene struck a powerful cord in me…so kudos to the writers of that episode.
I don’t want to be Buffy on that day. I’m a guy, so I don’t really want to be Buffy on any day…but I digress. I will talk in the future about how writing scenes that stick is very powerful. Unfortunately, that’s not this post.
I’m my parents’ caretaker. I cook, shop, handle finances and a host of other needs. I’m around them almost constantly. In fact, blogging and my fiction are my almost lone escapes from that. I’m almost assuredly going to be the one to find them if they pass at home. I’m happy to help out these people who gave me life and devoted a lot of their time and energy for me. I don’t want their death, too.
I have a pessimistic, paranoid, and basically dreary mindset. If I am the first to find them after whatever kills them, that’s going to be how I remember them. I won’t remember their lovely service, the day they saw me off to the army, or watching me cross the street to go on my first day of kindergarten. At least, not without flashing back to the discovery…I fear death.
I’m sorry for not posting much. I’m going through stuff. I should be back to writing tonight and at least a weekly blog post starting next week…or I guess that would be starting today, counting this one.
400 page reads showed up out of the blue on my kindle publishing dashboard. Even if that means 400 people only read one page, I still had 400 different people read the book. I’m always tickled about the little things like that. I may wish for thousands of daily page reads, but I’ll take 400. If anyone reading my blog here is responsible, thanks.
I’m finally back at writing…sorta. I wrote maybe 200 words today. It would have been more but I’m having trouble with WordPerfect’s conversion from my Word files. I had to go with Corel’s program because I couldn’t afford 149 for the program and I’m not paying the 99 dollars for 365 days of access. I want to buy a program and just use it. I was using Word Starter 2010 that came with my laptop, but the program will no longer load. I’ve tried every tool that comes with Windows 10, but nothing is working…so I got WP. Wish me luck.
I spoke too soon during my last post. Block was over for about two days, lol. However, I do have my reasons. I’m in the process of moving and the stress of that has really killed my motivation. I’ve sold only that one book in over a month and frankly it no longer feels like people are waiting. So, until the move is over and I’m settled…I am going to only write when the urge is unbeatable and that might be once every two weeks for about 1k or 2k words.
I love Edgar and his adventures and fool myself that people reading this do too…but people have stopped telling me they enjoyed it and no one has left a review. So, I’ll get back to it after the move and try to get the new one finished by mid-October. Here’s hoping.
Well, as the title says, my writer’s block is over. It’s only 450 words that I wrote yesterday, but that’s a start. I’ve been cold for about two weeks now. It was a combination of burn out and the fact that I hadn’t sold a copy in forever.
I’d gotten over both issues and written my 450 words when I happened to check my Amazon dashboard and saw I actually sold a copy. It’s been weeks since I ran an ad, but I did whine a bit on my social media about not selling. I’m not sure what encouraged that delightful person to buy, but I’m glad they did. It cheered me up more than I care to say.
That said, I’m not wanting anyone to actually tell me they bought it. If it’s because of my whining and a pity purchase, I’m not sure I’d feel as good. I’d still appreciate it as I need the royalty…but it feels good to believe that somebody took a gander at my first few pages and decided it was interesting enough to purchase. It feels good to think they’re happily reading about Edgar’s adventures. A pity purchase would dilute that. I’d take it, but the dream feels better. LOL.
Even though I’m back at writing, I’m not going to give a new timetable. It might cause me to freeze up again. I’m up to about 20 sales now, and I’m sure at least a few of those are looking forward to my hero’s continuing adventures.
I’ve been bummed for awhile. I’ve been missing an OTC herbal remedy that acts as an anti-depressant. The lack of 5-htp has helped me procrastinate because now I have low energy and the feeling of worthlessness. Anyway, enough moaning (I think).
One of the things I’m using as a ‘pick-me-up’ is listening to songs like Ave Maria and Suo Gan. The fact that they’re in foreign languages means I understand only a few words but that’s not why I listen. The versions I choose to listen to are sung by young people. If you think that’s creepy or weird for a 42yo man to listen to kids a lot, I say go jump.
My favorite Ave Maria versions are sung by Anthony Muresan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSRlriJ4TFI) and Jantje Smit (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukzwiXqf0LQ). Take a listen if you like this hymn. There’s something uplifting about the way children sing hymns that brightens my mood and makes my own weakened faith just a little bit stronger. I have no way to know what these two singers really believe, but it feels like they still believe and that they’re really singing to Christ in these songs.
The cynic in me has trouble believing adult Christian singers are singing because they’re believing in the message. It’s the reason I don’t watch MLB at all, but love to watch little leaguers hit a ball. The joy those guys have in hitting a ball and just playing seems so real, but the facial expressions of adult players rarely seem to have that.
What does any of this have to do with writing? Not much, I will admit. I will end by saying this. I’m trying to recover that joy I had in my writing when I was a kid and I try to add the skill sets I have learned since. It’s the only way I can keep up any sort of pace. So many writing gurus say I should treat it like work…but I can’t do that. I would have never have finished the first book if I did that. It must remain a joy…the joy of a little kid not beaten down by adulthood.
I’ve been frozen/blocked for days now. Not a word have I written. The excuse that prompted the title was that I was frozen with indecision due to a comment from an editor I respect who is also a moderator on a writer’s board I frequent. She has many years in the editing business both for the big companies and as an editor for other authors. She told me that I have missing words, confusing constructions (sentences) and a couple other issues. Haven’t written a word since.
There’s another issue involved. In my writer’s critique group, I submitted a chapter from a book that isn’t part of my series but based heavily on me as the main character (if I was a defrocked police detective). The character’s personality is heavily based on feelings and interactions I’ve had with people. It didn’t go over well with at least one of the critique partners. So, in combination with the critiques of my published book, I’ve been heavily indecisive about what to do with everything.
I haven’t made a sale in a month. I’ve rechecked Humanity until I’m blue in the face. I’ve found a few extra commas that didn’t have to be there, a few sentence fragments that I think work, but not really what the editor said. So, I haven’t moved forward.
To be honest, and why I’m writing this, I’m wondering if I needed an ‘excuse’ not to write. That, well, I needed a break. In the past, I usually write a book a year by working on several manuscripts and story ideas at a time. This is the first time I’ve focused on one manuscript for more than a chapter or two at a time. I wanted to get stuff done and push out the sequel in record time (for me) and the pressure was tight. I think I was looking for a reason not to write. I’m about done with my break. I think.