Family Fear


I know this is a writer’s blog…but I just caught my mother asleep on the couch and my mind flashed back to the scene from Buffy the Vampire Slayer where she finds her mother dead on the couch. The reasons aren’t important for this post, but that scene struck a powerful cord in me…so kudos to the writers of that episode.

I don’t want to be Buffy on that day. I’m a guy, so I don’t really want to be Buffy on any day…but I digress. I will talk in the future about how writing scenes that stick is very powerful. Unfortunately, that’s not this post.

I’m my parents’ caretaker. I cook, shop, handle finances and a host of other needs. I’m around them almost constantly. In fact, blogging and my fiction are my almost lone escapes from that. I’m almost assuredly going to be the one to find them if they pass at home. I’m happy to help out these people who gave me life and devoted a lot of their time and energy for me. I don’t want their death, too.

I have a pessimistic, paranoid, and basically dreary mindset. If I am the first to find them after whatever kills them, that’s going to be how I remember them. I won’t remember their lovely service, the day they saw me off to the army, or watching me cross the street to go on my first day of kindergarten. At least, not without flashing back to the discovery…I fear death.

I’m sorry for not posting much. I’m going through stuff. I should be back to writing tonight and at least a weekly blog post starting next week…or I guess that would be starting today, counting this one.



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